I'm having mixed feelings. Which I honestly did not expect. I attacked this process like I do anything else, feet first. I hit full force and don't stop until either I've completed my task or I've grown completely bored with it and walk away.
I'm not backing out, and I haven't completed the process. I feel like I'm in a weird state of limbo, and left to my own devices. The kids are gone for spring break, so I find myself with a bit more free time than I'm used to. And that finds me thinking. And thinking. And thinking.
What am I about to do to myself? Am I sure this is what I want?
So worry and doubt creep in, which isn't how I usually handle things. Like I said, I usually jump in feet first, which rarely gives any time for thinking and worrying about the outcome. So here I sit, thinking and worrying, wondering how long I'll regret my decision after it becomes permanent.
I'm doing better with my pre-op diet now, and am spending this week weaning myself off coffee. I found out last week that the short-term disability coverage at my work doesn't start until the day of surgery. Since it's on a Tuesday, I'd have to take vacation for Monday if I want it off. So it looks like I'll be working, which is going to suck since I'll be on clear liquids all day. I have a feeling I'm going to be a roller coaster of emotions since I'll be hungry and anxious and excited all at the same time. I am certainly looking forward to some time off from work!
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